Birthday reflections...

Yah, so tomorrow I turn 35.

Not a huge milestone, but it feels strangely momentous for some reason.

Perhaps it's because I have survived cancer...and not just any cancer. Nope.  Nothing ordinary seems in store for my life. It was an extremely rare and aggressive cancer that I was told would likely end my life before my son entered pre-school. Well...he's starting Kindergarten in a few months so I guess that theory pretty much sucked.

Or maybe it's because I spent the majority of my life being morbidly obese and have finally conquered that beast. I've lost around 90 pounds since my bariatric surgery last November, but I'm down at least 125 pounds from my all-time high. Significantly, it will be exactly 8 months tomorrow since my surgery. I actually felt it was some sort of divine intervention that my surgery was scheduled for November 6th. It was two days after Truman turned five and also the same number as my birthday. I can't help but pay attention to numbers showing up in weird ways like that. But I digress.

My point is that since having my surgery I feel VERY different. It is as though I am emerging from some sort of heavy cocoon  and my wings are just starting to dry out. I'm beginning to flutter just a bit.  I hate the whole butterfly metaphor, especially because it is over-used in cheesy pop songs and web vids...but sometimes it is appropriate. Did I mention that I ran (okay, mostly walked, but still...) my very first 10K yesterday? Yah, totally awesome, right? Well...that's kinda what I mean by just beginning to flutter. I can feel all these changes in my ability and energy level and motivation. I mean - even after the race, and all the pain, and the fatigue, and the (YIKES!) blood - all I could think about was how I could better prepare myself for my next event. What is that? The only feeling I can compare it to is fantasizing about my next show during strike night...really the only way to survive the devastation of watching one of my sets being torn apart and thrown in a dumpster. (I'm pretty sure only theatre rats will get that last reference.)

No...I'm not sure that's really it. What I really think it is (and I hope you don't judge me for this) all boils down to a little check mark in a box.

You know the one.  Don't even play.



Yah, that's why I'm kinda freaking out. Or emotional. Or feeling slightly weird. It's because I know that I am moving forever out of the demographic box that all the advertisers and marketing and entertainment and employer-type people care about. FOREVER!!!

Yep...that must be it.

Or I could just be living in some really highly evolved form of denial.

I'll ask my therapist which one it is and get back to you.

But in the mean-time...Happy Birthday to ME!!! :-))

grace & peace,
-Hannah

Welcome and Hello!!!

Let's start by explaining the title...

Advocacy is something I stumbled into through a series of bizarre and challenging circumstances, beginning with a cancer diagnosis that took place when I was pregnant with my son. I had, at the time, no idea exactly how difficult it can be to maneuver in our medical and legal systems, but that lesson was learned VERY quickly. I spent the majority of my first (and as it turns out, only) pregnancy just fighting to get appropriate treatment and an accurate diagnosis. I was robbed of a large portion of the joyful experience of gestation by the physical and emotional pain of a medical crisis. And truthfully, though I was nominally performing self-advocacy at that point, I really began advocating for my child at that very first appointment 11 weeks in. 

No matter who or what you are advocating for, I think it is helpful to think of the subject as your own child or yourself AS a child. This really brings to perspective the fragile and vulnerable nature of someone who is in a medical, social, emotional, spiritual, financial or educational crisis. The details will be very different, but powerful and effective advocacy in any field utilizes many of the same techniques and attitudes. I have a great deal of experience working with (and sometimes against) various bureaucratic institutions in order to survive and thrive in our modern age. 

Truman (my son) is 5 years old and heading off to Kindergarten in the fall and I continue to advocate for him daily. He has Autism so we have had our work cut out for us over the years just getting him appropriate services and interventions.

The stage IV liposarcoma that was supposed to kill me has been gone since 2006, but I'm still here :-)) After almost 5 years of remission,  I am only a few months away from my very own "C" word (CURED!!!)

...and yet, because of the long-term ramifications of my own medical treatments I still have issues for which I need to advocate.

 My hope with this blog is to share what I have learned (and am STILL learning) in my experiences advocating for myself and my family so that someone,

somewhere will reap the benefit of my hard-fought battle-scars. 

Here are just a few highlights of challenges we have faced as a family:

* Cancer

* High-risk Pregnancy

* Infant Feeding Difficulties (Lactation Challenges)

* Vocational & Employment Challenges

* Family Separation

* Financial Issues

* Housing Issues

* Obesity & Bariatric Surgery

* Chronic Lymphedema

* Chronic Pain Management

* Addiction & Chemical Dependancy

* Developmental Delay 

* Psycho-educational Assessments

* Autism

Quite a list, I know. And would you believe all this has happened since 2005? What a way to start a marriage and family! But the important thing to note at this point is that we are STILL HERE!!! Dave and I are still together and happy, we are still faithful and more in love with God (and each other) than ever, and we are truly moving into a chapter of prosperity and blessing right now. God is good, His provision is always sufficient, His timing is mysterious, and His ways are not always our ways...but by leaning on Him and fellow believers we have more than survived - we are THRIVING!!!

So, that's the "Advocate" part of the title anyway...I'll get to the other two words in another post.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to growing together with you all...

Peace & Love,

-Hannah