Housewarming

To quote one of my all-time favorite movies (Frank Capra's It's A Wonderful Life): "Bread - that this house may never know hunger. Salt - that life may always have flavor. And wine - that joy and prosperity may reign forever! Enter the LaFrenz castle!!!"

So, I know a housewarming party is a somewhat rare occurrence these days. Maybe it's the modern era. Maybe it's the casual California lifestyle. Maybe it's our socio-economic status. Who knows? It's just not something I come across very often. But I love the idea of welcoming everyone into a new home. For someone who expresses the gift of hospitality as passionately as I do, it is somewhat expected. But for Dave and I this event held a particular significance.

Most housewarmings take place when someone purchases their home. Dave and I happen to be renting our current house. We still felt the desire to have a housewarming party. Perhaps if you knew a little bit more about our recent past circumstance, you would understand why.

Dave and I were married on April 24, 2004 and soon after moved to the (accursed) high desert because that's where he got his first teaching job in California. It was a wonderful time for us, even with all the crazy challenges of living in a charming (read: decrepit) old cabin style house in the insane climate of Apple Valley. We built a pleasant routine around his unusual schedule. Because of the un-holy weather of that region, school started and ended early in the day. This meant he was usually home in time for us to run errands in the afternoon, see a matinee, or even (our favorite) take a nap before making dinner. It was just him, me, and Warren

 (my Australian Shepherd mix who was my constant companion and boogie-man repellant.) We did lots of little home improvement projects and yard work type stuff. We really made an effort to make that place our own. And it was...warts and all. I can honestly say those first few months of our marriage were one of the happiest times of my life. They call it the "honeymoon" period for a reason.

But the abbreviation of that idyllic time was shattered not by the typical growing pains of a new relationship, but instead by the stress of a surprise pregnancy which included a very painful medical mystery. By the time we reached our first anniversary I was finishing up my first trimester and struggling with a painful mass that no one could diagnose. Over the next several months, as my son grew healthy and strong inside me, so did the cancerous tumor that was threatening my life.

You see, whether coincidence or fate, the fact that the cancer happened when and how it did was absolutely key to my effective and aggressive treatment and recovery. It may sound strange, but I am thankful that I got cancer when I was pregnant. If I hadn't had Truman to worry about, I'm convinced I would not have found the tumor as soon as I did and I DEFINITELY would not have sought treatment as early or assertively as I did. I am convinced that those circumstances were vital to my survival.

So, this leads me to what I originally discussed in this post which is...our living situation.

After months of scans, tests, research and switching doctors, I finally had a biopsy scheduled. At 30 weeks pregnant I was admitted to Loma Linda hospital for an excisional biopsy of the grapefruit sized mass that had taken over much of my mons and groin. This was late August 2005. Truman was due in late October.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...Zack (my brother) and his wife Hillary were planning to purchase a home in Hemet. He was working as a finish carpenter at the time and traveled all over Southern California to build new houses. Hemet was as good a place as any to commute from and the houses were pretty reasonable in price which is why they wanted to invest there. Several members of my Mom's side of the family live there and at the time it was booming from a real estate perspective. This town is about 45 minutes from where my parents and much of my Dad's side of the family lived. Apple Valley is about 90 minutes away (without traffic!) Because I was now expecting our first child, and I was unable to work due to the pain caused by the massive tumor in my groin, and because I was uncertain of what my medical status/treatment protocol would be once Truman was born, Dave and I made the decision to move in with Zack & Hillary after I recovered from my first surgery. We were sure we would need the support of family close by. It was a difficult choice to decide to share a household with another family, but it was totally necessary given the circumstances. In fact, that one decision was the keystone to everything that comprised my ultimately successful battle against cancer.

But it was hard.

We shared that house with Zack & Hillary and their twin sons for over two years. And BOY howdy, were they incredibly supportive. In fact, I know we would not have gotten through that period without their help. My parents also came often to help, as did my myriad of Aunts, Uncles, cousins and friends galore. The really big deal was when Gloria (my younger sister) literally dropped her entire life to become my and Truman's full-time caregiver. That is a sacrifice that deserves a whole separate entry to properly address. So yes, we had a lot of help.

But it was still hard.

So what happened after those two years? Well two main things.
1. Dave was not offered a contract to return to the Hemet district after teaching there for two years.
2.  The economy took a nose-dive, with construction leading the way, which meant Zack was now out of work.

End result...we all had to move out of the very large and expensive house. Zack & Hillary moved back to a rental house in Fallbrook and Dave & I moved in with my parents. Just for a few weeks or months at the most, I thought. Just until Dave could find a new teaching job. Or any job for that matter.

Well, after months and months of diligent work searching for a new teaching job, Dave realized he just was not destined for the classroom as his long-term career. So then the real battle began. Dave's vocational crisis just happened to coincide with the beginning of the "Great Recession" and so for literally YEARS he searched, interviewed, networked, odd-jobbed, monster.com-ed, resume wizard-ed, pestered and PRAYED his way into a new career. He applied, and applied, and applied. And he interviewed, and interviewed, and interviewed.  He even drove 6 hours to go to an interview somewhere in the central valley once...just to find a job. He WORKED at finding work like no one I have ever seen.

Oh, and PS...did I mention that a little while after we moved in with my folks, Truman was diagnosed with Autism? No...oh, so there's that, too.

Dave finally found his calling in mid-2009 when he tested for the California Department of Motor Vehicles. He knew he wanted to work as a License Examiner, but there were never any openings at the local offices. So when he finally got the opportunity in February of 2010 and was hired by the DMV in Sonora he jumped at the chance to work there. In case you (like me) are deficient in geography you should know that Sonora is in Gold Country - about a 9 or 10 hour drive north of Fallbrook. So yes, my husband took a permanent intermittent job (basically a temp position) hundreds of miles away because he KNEW it was the right career path for him. He drove up every Sunday after church, worked all week long and then drove back home after work - usually (thanks to furloughs) on Thursday night. This meant he often didn't get home until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. He literally put thousands and thousands of miles on our little 1993 Corolla which I am thankful held together just long enough for him to get his job down south.

He did that commute for over 9 months, and then he was finally blessed with a FULL-TIME PERMANENT position. Praise God!!! The only down-side...it wasn't in San Diego. It was in Paso Robles, about a 4 hour drive north of Fallbrook. He was getting closer, but we were still supporting two households and so could not afford our own place at that time. That was November of last year, right after I had my bariatric surgery. Which meant I was recovering from major surgery without the help of my husband 5 days out of the week. Thank GOD for the help of my family!!!

So that is how what was supposed to be a few weeks or months with my parents turned in to over three and a half years. Yep...years.

Which I'm sure must've felt even longer for my wonderfully hospitable parents (especially on Saturday morning when Truman was making a racket and we ALL desperately wanted to sleep in!)

So, now you know why having a housewarming for our little rental house was such a VERY BIG DEAL to us.  Please enjoy some pics from the event and know how grateful we are to all who made the time and effort to be there.

We hope you all feel welcome here for as long as we call it home.

Grace & Peace...

-Hannah, Dave & Truman LaFrenz